An Angry Heart Driven By Hurt Feelings

I am continually amazed at the power and clarity of the Scriptures that, when applied, bring about lasting life change. I had the privilege of observing the Scriptures powerfully move in a dear lady’s life by reproving and correcting some unbiblical mindsets and practices. This young counselee had been harboring anger toward a friend whom she felt had sinned against her. In an effort to relieve her emotional pain, she had cut this person out of her life and sought to distract herself by staying busy. But, the harder she sought to drown out the hurt feelings, the more embittered and angry she became.   

Thankfully, the Bible has the answers she needed to gain hope and practical guidance in addressing the issue of being sinned against. Since Matthew 18:15-17 gives clear instructions on what a Christian is to do when sinned against, she and I spent some time reviewing the outlined steps and considered how God would want her to handle situations when she believes she has been sinned against. She confessed that she attempted to perform the first step in the process, confronting the offender privately, but became discouraged and angrier when the offender did not respond as she had hoped. We began to talk through how she confronted her friend and for what sins she had confronted. She confessed that she had confronted her friend in anger and her motive in confronting was not for the purpose of bringing about reconciliation and repentance, but to inflict pain on the person. It became clear to her that she needed to repent and work through step one in the reconciliation process again using biblical principles to guide her.

For the next several weeks we worked through the homework assignment “7 Questions Before Confronting a Brother.”[1] It was during this homework assignment that she had even more breakthrough moments as she began to grow in humility and love, while gaining a proper perspective in how to biblically confront others who sin against you.